Soon I'll be selling star maps

I'm in LA right now for work. Today is Saturday, though, so it's been mostly a free day. I'm staying right near the ocean, which is nice, and after having spent the last few days cooped in edit houses I thought it might be good for me to go out for a walk on the beach. It's been a while since I've spent any time admiring the vastness of nature that God created, and all that, so I thought now would be a good time.

I had walked about 100 yards, admiring the ocean & enjoying the new Rikki Lee Jones album on my way... when I saw a private party near the beach at a hotel. It was for the IFC Spirit awards, signs told me, and it was very private. I thought, "Wow, there might be someone famous there." Then I checked myself. Here I have the entire ocean by my side, a beautiful strip of beach, and a nice blustery day. To spend it looking for celebs seemed wrong. So I looked back out at the ocean and kept walking.

Well the ocean was nice I guess, but then I turned my head again and I had come upon a tent. A tent housing the actual IFC spirit awards. And limos were pulling up to get people. There were about 30 people gathered around a partition, but it was barely a crowd. Hmm, I thought, well, I'll just take a peek. I walked up next to the partition and was about 30 or 40 feet from the limos.

When Javier Bardiem walked out. Followed by Brad and Angelina. Right near me. Well! I thought. I'll just stay a tad longer. (Here's the lowdown: Brad's hair was cheesy, Angelina's hair was hiding her face, Javier was shorter than I thought and was scarier with a bowl cut.) I was hooked. Instantly a guy from Jiffypop walked by and offered me and everyone else some popcorn. I declined, thinking, that's weird, I'm not actually at the movies. But, as more and more celebs came out I kinda wanted some. I'm sure there's a conspiracy there somewhere.

By about 15 minutes later, I had seen Matt Dillon, Ricki Lake, and Dustin Hoffman. I pulled out my cell phone and tried to take pics but all I got was shots of their cars because for some reason my cell phone camera makes things look farther away than they actually are. I wondered in the back of my mind if God was like, great, thanks for enjoying nature and all. I doubt he's sarcastic like that, but as I turned back towards the hotel it did start to rain.