There's going to be a JOUST movie.

Seriously. A movie of the old video game Joust. You know, knights riding ostriches in outer space, fighting for giant eggs over pits of lava? That Joust.

They better include that creepy hand that came out of the Lava every now and then to grab you. I'm a stickler about that.

Actually, I think this is awesome news, but the trend of taking beloved obscure things from my childhood, digitizing them, then making me pay to see them in the theater is getting a little creepy. What's next? What's left?

This is a good time to introduce my Conversation Snippets From the Future MachineTM.

That's right, a machine that picks up conversations from the future. Let's set it to Nerd Talk, 5 years from now and tune in and see what we get...

(Static)

"I wasn't really excited about the Burger Time movie at first, but then I heard Tarantino was directing..."

(static)

"I'll go see Elevator Action, but I heard there's only one real elevator scene in it."

"I was skeptical about Michel Gondry's Mad Magazine movie until he cast Robert Downey jr. as Alfred E. Newman. Now it's going to be awesome."

"Hostess Fruit Pies? Jon Voigt will star in ANYTHING."

(static)

"They're making the E.T. Atari game into a movie? That doesn't even make sense!"

(static)

Wow, pretty fun machine. Seriously, though, Hollywood, when you make Pitfall The Movie, PLEASE don't let it star Brendan Fraser. I feel like I've seen that movie already.

But it should have that crazy tarzan sound effect whenever anyone uses a vine. I'm a stickler about that.