Daughter Stories

Robin's into secrets right now. So the other night Erin was tucking her in and told Robin, "I've got a secret." And Robin said "What is it?" And Erin whispered "I love you" in her ear. Then Robin said, "I've got a secret, too". And leaned over to Erin's ear and whispered, "You're the best. AND, if you poo poo in the potty I'll buy you a big present."

Diary of the last five days.

Wednesday.

One of my best friends is moving away.
Drive to his house to say goodbye, return sunglasses.
Glasses returned; given a speaker for rock shed, manly side hug.
Truck won't start, extending awkward goodbye.
Jumper cables.
Drive to truck repair place.
Sad, stoic.

Thursday.

Hitch ride to work.
Think about L.L. Bean.
Learn truck repair is expensive.
I don't want to think about L.L. Bean.
Have good idea involving mannequins.
Truck is ready.
Hitch ride to truck, ride truck home.
My daughters like to pretend I'm a horse.
Bedtime stories.
Talk with Erin until we're too tired and should be sleeping.
Erin tells me there's two Africa-related events she wants us to go to this weekend.
I'm not 100% into that plan, but have no good reason.
We both fall asleep, kind of grumpy.

Friday.

Five in the morning.
Erin lying on floor in pain.
Erin pacing the house in pain.
I head to the computer.
Google: appendix.
Google: kidneys.
Learn kidney stones cause you to pace in pain.
Erin paces past the computer in pain.
Google: south austin hospitals
Dark outside, neighbor runs through lawn to come watch the girls.
Six in the morning; emergency room.
Pain.
Pain medication.
Momentary relief.
CAT scan.
Must leave wife here to check on girls at home.
Remember girls have school today, thankfully.
This is my first time driving the girls to school.
Robin tells me I'm doing it wrong.
Drop Lucy off at little playground.
Drop Robin off at big playground.
One of the teachers has a fat green caterpillar, hanging from a stick.
Drive back to hospital, call work on the way.
Back at Hospital.
Cat Scan results.
Kidney stone.
Wife rests.
Wait for doctor.
Overhear horrible emergency room conversation snippets:
"I couldn't get my finger out of my neck."
"Well, sometimes you have to laugh because you can't cry anymore."
Loud beeping.
Wife asleep.
A man curses his foot.
The doctor arrives.
The kidney stone is on the borderline of being too large.
Recommends operation, tomorrow.
Time to get the girls from school, leave wife again.
Pick up Robin.
Pick up Lucy.
"Lucy's not feeling well, she soiled her clothes."
"We're having her sit on the toilet in case it happens again."
Lucy sitting on tiny toilet next to the teacher's assistant.
Sees me, smiles: No diaper, no pants.
Drive girls home.
Feed them lunch; Word Girl is a rerun.
Lucy has another dirty diaper.
Take them to neighbor's house.
Drive to hospital.
Erin moved into her own room.
Sit next to her while she sleeps.
Surgery tomorrow AM.
Drive home.
Put girls to bed.
Fall asleep, dream about missing the surgery several times.

Saturday.

Talk to wife on phone, surgery happening soon.
Take kids next door to neighbors again, they've bought them donuts.
"We're here!" yells Robin.
"Donuts!" yells Lucy.
Forgot My Little Pony DVD.
Go back home, find it, go back next door.
Kiss girls goodbye, neighbor hands me a kolache.
I learn what a kolache is.
Eat kolache as I drive to the hospital.
Wife in surgery.
Wait in room.
Doctor calls my cell, all went well.
Hour passes.
Wife comes back into room, looking tired but happy.
Stay with her while she rests.
She orders cheeseburger, she didn't eat yesterday.
Cheeseburger looks good.
Time to get girls.
Kiss wife, drive home.
Get cheeseburger on the way.
Pick up girls, put them in car.
Promise of going to library to get new books in the process of being fulfilled.
Road to library is out.
Take detour.
At Library finally; getting kids out of car.
Cell phone vibrates in pocket.
Erin to be discharged from hospital soon, come get her.
Try to put kids back in car.
Rebellion ensues.
In library, quickly and frantically picking children's books.
Lucy yelling in library.
Robin punching keyboard in library.
Accidentally check out one about Henry David Thoreau.
$10.50 in library fines.
How many minutes have passed?
Who writes a children's book about Thoreau?
Erin calls, waiting outside hospital.
Packing kids in car quickly; dropping library books.
Forgot to fasten Robin into car seat: "Daddy, I can move!"
Lucy: "I don't wanna go to the hospital"
Fasten Robin into car seat.
Crank car again, driving fast.
Forgot about construction detour.
Take detour.
Erin waiting outside hospital.
PIck her up, she's doing much better but uncomfortable.
Go home, take a nap.
Sleep like a dead man.
Wake up groggy.
Wife doing great, ready to attend first of the weekend's two Africa-related events.
Argue about wife's recent surgery vs. going to event.
Wife wins, promises to stay seated and not move around.
Africa event 1: Meet friends in Ethiopian adoption group at restaurant with playground.
Erin forgot to take off hospital bracelets. Surprised looks.
Have great time on playground.
Kisses from Robin and Lucy in return for spinning them in the air.
Drive home.
Sleep hard.

Sunday.

Lucy yells "Yoo Hoo" from crib.
Lucy wants pancakes.
Robin wants waffles. And chewing gum.
Chewing gum denied.
Erin in bed, eats pancakes too.
Erin gets up, gives Robin chewing gum.
Robin shows me the chewing gum.
Take girls to church so Erin can rest more.
Lucy yells "IT'S ME!" when she sees her Sunday school teacher.
Robin is shy.
Target on the way home for water and orange juice.
Home: Erin in pain again.
Lots of pain.
Call doctor, put on hold.
Lucy breaks her spoon.
Robin needs more milk.
Erin in pain.
Operator says doctor will call me back soon.
Robin wants more ketchup.
Lucy wants more ketchup.
Wipe ketchup off hands, put girls to bed.
Doctor calls back, tells us what to do for Erin.
Erin does it, feels better instantly.
Clean up before babysitter comes over, second Africa event occurs in 2 hours.
Erin dresses for church, a local church is hosting an choir made up of African orphans.
Babysitter arrives.
Erin has pain again, can't go, asks me to go alone.
I don't want to go.
She says please, she thinks it will be good for me.
Her pain is not bad, she just needs to rest.
Drive to nearby church alone.
See neighbor who cared for my girls.
African children run onto the stage.
I don't see any adults with them.
Children dance and sing.
Boy from Uganda talks about watching his parents die from AIDS.
He sings a beautiful song, smiling.
Girl from Nepal is sweet.
15 million orphans in Africa.
40 million by 2010.
Only 15% of Christians in America surveyed think we should do something about it.
The children sing and dance loudly, louder than the room full of white people.
I decide I am one of the 15 percenters.
White people clap like white people.
Children finish, run through the pews hugging elderly unsuspecting Methodists.
America is rich but poor.
I forgot to bring a checkbook.
CD table takes visa, I buy Erin a CD and a DVD, and grab a sponsorship form.
Erin was right, again. It was good for me.
Drive home.
Read books to girls.
Put girls to bed very late, 9pm.
Robin still awake, 9:45 pm.
Read her a book in the dark.
She gives me a kiss.
Type overlong blog entry in difficult to read, short sentences.
Go to bed.

Now I'm going to talk to a chicken

Wes Whitener's Reservations

Hello and thanks for taking the time to meet with me today.

The TV show proposal I'd like for you to consider producing is entitled: Wes Whitener's Reservations. It would be a travel show, but the twist is this: The guy featured on the show is not very world wise and would actually prefer not to travel. In fact, he kind of hates it. He doesn't like nice wine, he's a bit shy and awkward when meeting new people, and he would prefer to go see a movie than to engage in outdoor adventures of any kind.

The excitement and humor would come in seeing this skeptical traveler attempt to eat various exotic dishes, repel off the side of mountains, hanglide, run into celebrities at nice hotels, etc, all while mildly complaining, reacting awkwardly, and not really knowing which fork to hold or how to swim, etc. He would need some sidekicks along who are actually good at outdoor sports and enjoy that kind of thing to egg him on and convince him to actually cliff dive, or whatever. Kind of the Ricky Gervais podcast model where two dudes mock an awkward guy as they go.

I think it will be a hit. Thanks for your consideration.

Gold: Worth it?

So, I had a long discussion last night with friends about the whole economy thing. We started talking about how the price of gold vs. the dollar has gone up. Someone made the point that paper money is meaningless without gold to back it up.

This got me to thinking: Does gold REALLY have any intrinsic value over paper? I know it's a precious mineral. But I would suggest that it's only precious because we attribute value to it, just like we do with paper money. The mineral itself, while shiny, is basically useless unless you like gold jewelry or teeth. Sure, there's not a lot of gold out there, making it more valuable to people who already like gold, but shear scarceness does not making something valuable. There's not a lot of copies of The Outfield's "Play Deep" album out there anymore, but that doesn't mean it's instantly worth anything at all to human beings who come in contact with it.

The way I see it, if you're stranded in the desert with no food or water for days and find a piece of gold, I don't think you're going to be that thrilled. You might say to yourself, "I wish this was a gold cup of water or a golden plate of pancakes", but otherwise it's not much use to you. In fact, it's so heavy it might actually be a detriment, since you have a lot of trekking across the desert to do.

I guess all I'm saying is, in and of itself, gold isn't all that great. If everything were to collapse economically and we entered some Mad Max state of being (as CNN would seem to prefer), I really don't think Ft. Knox is going to be the first place that gets broken into. It would be pretty safe. Maybe keep an eye on your Targets or your Home Depots. But the gold will probably be fine. In fact, the following things would be of more value than gold in a post-apocalyptic, back-to-the-basics world; solely because they are useful. Here, ladies and gentlemen, are your future (more reliable) forms of currency:

Duct tape
Rubber Bands
Bungee Cords
Solar Powered Cars
Solar Powered Scooters
Solar Powered Calculators
Swords
Books from the humor section (especially if it's a bleak future)
Tents
Hand Crank LL Bean Flashlights
Leathermen tools and/or forks
M&Ms
Cookies
Shields
Dustpans (could also double as shield)
Plywood
Sunscreen
Can openers
Roman Candles

I think this is a pretty complete list. All items represented here are actually more valuable than gold, if we're really talking long term. I suggest we switch to one of those now, maybe Duct Tape, just to ensure the ACTUAL value of the dollar. But I'm no economist.

America, We're Dumb Enough!

So, this whole economic crisis thing... I have a theory. I think, collectively, we're dumb enough to make it through. Here's a quote from CNN concerning the proposed bailout:

"The Chicago PMI, a key manufacturing read, fell to 56.7 in September from 57.9 in the prior month. However, the decline was smaller than economists were expecting. Any reading over 50 suggests growth."

What? I don't understand any of that. What happened? How does our economy even work? Should I buy that extra piece of cinnamon swirl cake with my frappacino? Do I refrain from purchasing the 227: Complete Series Box Set on DVD with my credit card? I don't know. I wager the majority of the American populace doesn't know either. And that's exactly my point. We're dumb enough to plow ahead blindly. We'll keep buying cookies, boats and orange Crocs and America will prosper.

Or will we? See, I really don't know. Maybe we should all cut back on cookies this month. Maybe that's the answer. Let's all consume three less cookies and maybe this thing will sort itself out. See, even in my proposed solutions, I'm proving my point. We're totally dumb enough.

I guess, in a way, that was also the point behind the movie Forrest Gump. Forrest represented America, and how simple and innocently we as a nation blustered our way through time to greatness, unaware. (The ironic part about that is, of course, most people who loved that movie didn't care about that underlying subtext, they just like to hear Tom Hanks talk funny about Shrimp. Again, proving my point.)

I'm not trying to be cynical or ironic here. I think I'm just trying to say we shouldn't panic, we should just keep trucking on. With caution, sure, but let's don't get too smart about the situation and start day trading our 401 k futures or whatever.

And for the record, I think the bailout just sounds like a bad idea. It screams "Quick Solution Without Regard to Consequence" to me. Like sugar-free Donuts. It sounds good, but there's no way it can be made up of anything good for you, and you'll probably pay for it later.

Daughter Songs

Both of my girls have written a few songs now, at the young ages of 3 and 2. Although I may be biased, I think they're all pretty good (though short). The tunes are nice, too, but since you can't hear that on a blog, I'll just give you the lyrics.

Robin's first song illustrates her Chinese heritage. It's short and sweet. The words are:

When I was a kid...
Ni Hao.

(Ni Hao is hello in Chinese).

Nice tune, poignant lyrics with a hint of humor and a touch of pathos. Excellent song.

Lucy's first song works to shed some light on her American heritage:

New Shoes from Target
New Shoes from Target
New Shoes from Target
etc.

While it can go on a little long, there's a lot of joy in this song.

Robin also crafted another tune while brushing her teeth and looking in the mirror. This one is to be crooned really soulfully, like a rock ballad or gospel number:

Girl on a step stool...

It helps on the last one to actually be standing on a step stool.

Best. Movie Ending. Ever?

I like how unsure the smile is on the girlfriend's face.

Also, this is oddly similar to the ending of Michael Clayton.

Face Recognition, Round 2.

Ok, so i've been determined to get a better celebrity face match than yesterday's Richard Stallman (see last post). Well, I've been failing. Here's my results so far. Not promising.



Mitch gets Heath Ledger, I get... some guy with a handlebar moustache. Nice.



Ok, so Robin gets some lovely Asian lady, then the program basically flips Lucy and I the bird. I challenge anyone to classify the three people I've been compared with so far as celebrities. And... Marilyn Manson? I guess it's the lack of eyebrows and the baby face? I dunno.

So, thinking maybe it was the beard throwing me off, I pulled an old photo of Kool & The Gang that someone "kindly" posted on facebook.



Result? 3 lovely actresses and NO FACE FOUND. C'mon!

Here is my last attempt, one in which I have collected for you the top ranked faces that mine looks like (according to this site) just so you can understand what a face like this is made up of, "celebrity" style.

Um...

So, there's this site that will scan a photo of your face and tell you what celebrity faces yours resembles. We were all giving it a shot together here at work today. As the program scans your face, you have to wait patiently for the results.

Scott got labeled "Kevin Costner" (although he's clearly Bill Paxton)

My coworker Mitch got labeled "Jeff Gordon" (although he's clearly The Count).

Then it was my turn.

The first picture we put in the program claimed it could not find a face. Hmm.

We tried a different photo, let it scan in and waited patiently before it revealed...



Um. Who is this guy? Apparently the computer had to scrape the bottom of the celebrity barrel to find a match for me and the best it could do was Richard Stallman, the infamous computer hacker/weird looking freak.

I hope that you fare better when you try it. Oddly, if you click at the bottom it goes through the other celebrities that resemble you and the next one over was Luke Perry. Hmm.

Anyway, give it a shot and let me know in the comments if you could possibly lose worse at this game than I did.

By the way, this reminds me of I site that I once wanted to build. The idea was that it would show you what your baby would look like if you scanned in photos of two people. The trick was going to be that no matter what photos you put in, the picture would come out as a bad pencil drawing of a baby with tattooed biker arms, a beard, and an eyepatch.

I should still build that site.

Back off, Levi's.

Sometimes I get really sad that I work in advertising. Especially when I see stuff as seedy as the new Levi's ads. Have you seen these? I'm referring to the "Live Unbuttoned" campaign, a campaign whose slogan is even inappropriately bold enough to suggest that you live a life with your privates exposed to the world.

First off, there's an ad that opens with a super young couple (15? 16? 18 maybe) who we see in extreme close up. Mostly, we see their prepubescent crotches as they slowly unbutton their jeans to accommodate the tag line. Then the girl asks "Is this your first time?" and they both look nervous. The conversation continues with loaded dialog like that, insinuating the obvious. Just when you think that these kids are about to do the premarital, the camera pulls back to reveal...Hey! Just kidding, folks! These preteens are only stripping down to their underwear to jump off a dangerous pier together into the cold water below.

So, I assume our reaction at that point is supposed to be: whew! I thought they were trying to show my kids how cool it is to lose their virginity, but it was actually an elaborate set up to show my kids how cool it is to go swimming with their boyfriends almost naked! I guess then we're to chuckle mildly with relief. Then just to keep us parents on edge, they end the ad with an underwater crotch shot of both of the kids' half naked bottom halves as a reminder to us that they're probably going to do it later, off screen.

I know ever since the mini skirt replaced the poodle skirt that older generations have complained about worrisome trends in teen fashion, but I have to say if there is a hidden agenda going on in teen fashion, it's gotten way less hidden lately. Or maybe I'm an old man. But I don't know if I want to live in a era where people are OK that a jeans commercial for teens can have such a jaded, sexually experienced point of view.

I should stop here, at just Slightly Old-Fashioned Curmudgeon level, but I have to continue. Because there's another spot just as bad.

In this one, a guy wakes up in bed with a girl, and then slides out of bed without waking her. He grabs his guitar (read: he's cool, so it's okay), puts his jeans on and mentally and shirtless-ly debates whether he should sneak out or not. An old blues guy in the room narrates the guy's thoughts, obviously. "What, are you going to tell her you love her? Don't be crazy, just keep walkin'" he says, full of wisdom and that kind of crap, so the kid takes his advice and packs his stuff up, looking thoughtfully over his shoulder as he leaves the girl to struggle alone with sexual guilt after this meaningless one night stand.

I'm pretty sure that's how it was all worded in the script.

While the first spot seems to be encouraging casual sex for preteen virgins, this one seems to focus it's energy on encouraging guys that commitment is lame and that it's better to have one night stands than seek a monogamous relationship. Especially if you like the blues, which I would suggest is warning sign in general for anyone you meet in life, ladies, so take note.

I don't think this is all the former youth minister in me talking, but who knows. If you see these inappropriate commercials on TV let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure I even saw the first one on N!, which is a channel meant for preteens. I don't blame Moose A. Moose, though, he seems like an alright guy to me, and he's off work once Noggin shifts to N! and the Degrassi High School of Deviants comes on, anyway.

Where have I been?

Well, I haven't posted in a while. So here's some things that happened in the last 4 or 5 months.

Lucy looked at a fish that swam by in an aquarium, and said "I like you."

Robin informed us via racial profiling that "Chinese people don't like their windows down" and "Chinese people don't like to close their eyes", among other things. I don't want to make a blanket statement, but it would appear that Chinese people don't like to do whatever Robin doesn't want to do.

The Sheeps recorded 4 new songs, which are still mixing.

I went to the Bahamas on a TV shoot, and got to go snorkeling and para sailing.

Anyway, I'm not gone from the Blogosphere forever. More to come.

Dear Lost Producers...

I haven't forgotten about the following. Have you?

The question mark burned into the ground that Locke saw. Why would any Dharma person do that?



The pipes from that hatch that sent log reports nowhere. Was the Hatch stuff all a ruse?

The numbers. Why were they being broadcast from the island when Rousseau's ship crashed?

The quarantine. Ain't nobody sick.

The Blast door map. Why would a guy who worked for Dharma be trying to figure out where all the Dharma stations are located?

The Other's Pillar of Smoke. What was that? They seem pretty civilized now. Why burn things?

The Supply Drops. How can these happen but seasoned Helicopter pilots from the frieghter can't even fly near the island without crashing?

Disappering dead bodies. Jack's dad. Eko's brother. Kevin Inman.

Most of these questions come from season 2. Which I haven't forgotten. Have you?

Also, I would comment on last night's episode but my wife hasn't seen it yet. But I will say: DANG.

Sports Fans.

This is funny.

On that same subject: An open letter to Disney

Dear Disney,

Why do you hate parents? We are your bread and butter. We are the ones who use our money to buy your DVDs and support your amusement parks. And yet, here is a brief run down of the situation as I see it:

Bambi: Parent Killed.
Snow White: One parent, evil. Tries to cut out stepdaughter's heart.
Cinderella: Parents dead.
Dumbo: One parent. Placed in solitary confinement for "anger issues."
Peter Pan: No parents.
Sleeping Beauty: Too boring to watch.
Jungle Books: Parents leave child in Jungle.
Aristocats: One parent.
The Rescuers: No parents.
Little Mermaid: One parent. Calypso numbers.
Dinosaur: Parents hit by comet.
Aladdin: No parents.
Tarzan: See Jungle Book.
Finding Nemo: Parent dies.
Toy Story: One parent.
Lion King: Parent dies.

I mean, c'mon guys! You can't expect us parents to keep buying these DVDs if every time we put one in the player one of our own comes to a grisly end. It's just basic marketing. Can we get one complete set of parents that can stay alive for 85 minutes? At the very least.

Also, stop unreleasing movies. That doesn't make sense. Then stop rereleasing them and charging 30 bucks for them. I know how much a blank DVD costs. Also, nobody's watching that lame second disc of sketches on a napkin that were for the "bossa nova" version of "Kiss the Girl", so quit charging 15 extra bucks for that crap.

Finding Nemo: Horror Movie?

Let's pretend you're a producer of children's films and I walk into your office with an idea for a great new kids movie. I'd say, "Hey, I've got a great idea for a kid's movie. Here's how it would play out." And then I'd launch into my pitch.

First, we open on a happy young couple, who've just bought a new house and are celebrating the pending arrival of their babies. A giant fanged, horrifying monster instantly appears and eats the mom and the children. One baby survives, but he's got a "gimpy" arm.

After this trauma, the Dad becomes a nervous wreck, moves to a secluded new home and raises his injured child alone in fear and isolation.

The kid rebels from this lifestyle for 2 seconds, trying to show his Dad that the world is not a horrifying deadly place. As he does so, he is instantly grabbed by giant faceless men with loud breathing apparatus, placed into a bag, and is whisked away.

The mortified Dad then tries to follow the abductors, but the only person who offers to help him is a woman who has a mental illness akin to short term memory loss.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You'd say, "This sounds like a terrifying movie"

Hold on, I'd say. At that point a giant monster with three rows of teeth appears and is driven insane with bloodlust when the mentally ill woman accidentally cuts herself. The monster chases them through an old abandoned submerged submarine surrounded by mines, which explode.

Meanwhile, the captured kid is put into a cell with other insane people, like a woman who talks to herself in the mirror.

By this point you would stop me and tell me to get out of your office, or point me to the horror movie producer down the hall.

Seriously, I think this movie actually shows that the Dad fish was right, the ocean is a terrifying place and you may get eaten or horribly mangled just by swimming out too far. Besides the pot smoking turtles, pretty much everyone else they came across on their trek were terrifying beasts intent on destroying or devouring them.

See horror movie-like photo evidence below.

LOST: Libby with the blankets.

So, one last LOST thought for the day. Remember in the last episode, how Michael was in the hospital after crashing his car? And Libby came in to bring him blankets, and then Michael woke up and it was a bad dream? I just heard an interesting theory on that from a Lost podcast.

Apparently, when Michael's dreaming, the medical equipment is different than when he's awake. It's older and more dated. Check the pics below. The theory I heard says that this wasn't just a dream, that this actually happened and Libby was his nurse the first time he broke his back getting hit by a car, way back in Season 1's flashback.

Interesting.

LOST: Alternate opening

My friend Robert posted this in the comments section, but it was so funny I had to give it it's own post. Someone made a new LOST show opening with a new theme song and everything that is hilarious. Check it out here.

Robin to Robin

Robin likes to talk pretty much all the time now. In fact, if we aren't talking to her, she'll carry on an entire conversation by herself. This is a snippet from last night's self conversation while I was putting on her pajamas.

ROBIN: (singing) When I was a boy...

ROBIN: But you're not a boy.

ROBIN: Oh, right. Right. But I am a pirate.

ROBIN: But pirates don't wear pajamas.

etc.

She's also lately been known to refer to Erin as "Captain Mommy" and Lucy as both "Mr. Lucy" and "Uncle Lucy".

All of which she finds pretty amusing. Which I guess it is.

Ten Reasons the Forbes should move to Austin

So, my friend Brandon recently said that he and his wife Sarah are trying to figure out where they should live when she gets out of grad school. So this is my formal proposal to Brandon that they should move to Austin. The only logical place for them to live. Think of this as a mathmatical proof that will prove 100% sound.

1. Alamo Drafthouse. Ok, Brandon I know you love movies. This is constantly rated the best movie theater in America. Their popcorn is the best around and their hamburgers are awesome. And there are 3 of them in Austin. They take movies seriously and they have a full staff of movie nerds making sure you have the optimal nerd experience. Let me clairfy how awesome it is: Every year, they have a Lord of the Rings Feast, where they show all three LOTR movies, and serve a huge meal that corresponds to the food eaten in Middle Earth, even down to Middle Earth brew. Also, not only does it get every other movie you would ever want to see, but they also always get the people who make the movies to come and talk about them. Will Ferrell was here for Semi Pro. Simon Pegg and gang were here for Hot Fuzz. For Nacho Libre they had a live wrestling pre show. For Transformers, freakin' RoboSaurus was in the parking lot eating cars and breathing fire. Ok, for me, that's enough reason to live here, but here's more:

2. The only thing anybody ever eats here is delicious tacos and delicious BBQ. The best kinds of both. Even for breakfast.

3. I know you like music. Well, SXSW just happened and every band you like or are about to like were here, playing free shows. Last year I walked across the street from work and Midlake was playing. I walked to the other side of the street and Sparklehorse was playing. I walked to a BBQ place and saw the entire Merge roster play. Then I walked downtown and saw Daniel Johnston. It pretty much rules.

4. Oh, yeah, also Austin City Limits happens here (duh) and every band you like shuts down the town and fills up Zilker Park, rocking for three days.

5. While I mention it, Zilker Park rules, it has a huge frisbee golf course, a giant spring water cooled pool and miles of trails. Plus, just about every park here (there are a ton) has a frisbee golf course, and I know you like that.

6. This is the geek capitol of the world. You know Aintitcoolnews is from here. Well, imagine a town where everyone loves music and star wars as much as you. You can debate the atmosphere of Mon Calamari vs. Hoth with even casual passer by.

7. I built a rock shed in my backyard, and my neighbors don't care. Possibly because some of them have their own rocksheds.

8. This one's for Sarah: You're going to be an architect, well, this town has the coolest houses you will see outside of LA. Everyone's building their own (green) places and having folks like you design funky stuff right in the middle of town. You're much more likely to have cool design projects here then you are in, say, Durham.

9. This one's for Sarah, too: I remember your ambition to own a pool. Well, it's kind of hard to find a house here with out a pool. Did I mention it's hardly ever cold? And it's not unusual to go swimming in the Zilker Springs in December?

10. Erin and I live here. And I bought a Wii.

So, what are you waiting for? Let me know when you want me to start looking for houses.

New TV show idea? Maybe sleep on it first.

Erin and I just sat down a minute ago for some post-putting the kids down random TV watching. You never win if you sit down to watch TV without a plan. You always lose. That's how we discovered this new show, Sleep On It.

It's terrible. SOOOO BORING. A show where you watch normal every day people spent ONE night... in a DIFFERENT HOUSE! Not a haunted house, or even an 1800s house, or a house with trap doors of any kind... just a different house. The catch is supposed to be that they're thinking about buying it. WOW! The big drama this episode was that the husband hears a sound during the night.They thought maybe it was the water coming on. Yep. That'll be basically what happens every riveting episode, so hang on tight folks. WHAT WAS THAT? Oh, it was the AC. Good night.

Final Mixes of Sheeps songs are up

You can hear them here.

We've still got to master them, but this is pretty close to done. I think they've gotten a lot better since our last posting.

Finally! Time Travel.

Well, last night's LOST was pretty spectacular, I thought. Time travel was fully introduced, which was a little crazy but I was secretly hoping for it anyway. It was bound to happen at some point, given the vast history of the island (The Black Rock, The Statue with Four Toes, etc.) and given that Walt came back from being gone a short time much taller than he was before. There were hints all along, but last night time travel came out in the forefront in a confusing and exciting episode.

So, now that the time travel discussion is valid, and other things have come to light, here are some LOST theories and guesses from my brain:

• "WHAT BEN CAN DO" THEORY: Ok, so Ben's got a lot of passports and Miles said last week "They don't know what you can do." So my guess is that what Ben can do is that he's gained control over the ability to travel through time off the island and can shoot his time traveling consciousness all over the place. Maybe the passports he had are from different times as well as places? I think he's used this skill to raise money on the stock market and betting, etc. Maybe he even traveled way into the past and had to find the island again by boat, namely the Black Rock. Perhaps he called himself Alvar Hanso then. Maybe not. But, time traveling could at least explain why the photo of Ben that Miles had looked like it was from the 70s.

• WALT'S DEAD BIRD THEORY: So, I'm guessing Walt's specialness has something to do with time travel as well. Except he can project his consciousness, not just travel to other times that he's lived through like Desmond. Perhaps he can send others through time as well? That would explain how he killed that bird back in Season 1 or 2. Maybe he's causing them to time travel and they're having Aneurysms, like the lab rat in this week's episode.

• THE STATUE THEORY: A couple episodes ago, Sawyer suggested to Locke that they shoot off Ben's toes until he gives them some answers. Could Locke finally resort to that as a solution soon? Let's say he shoots off one of Ben's toe. Then, sometime later, Ben escapes through time back to an earlier part of the island's history. And the original inhabitants build a statue in his honor. A statue with FOUR TOES.

• THE MAN ON THE BOAT THEORY: Here's my guess to who the "man on the boat" is. I think it's Charlotte. Yes, Ben shot her. But if they worked it out in advance, he would know that she had a bullet proof vest on. And now she's cleared of all suspicion. The other reason I think it's her: She was the only one from the freighter to hear Ben say that he had a man on the boat. Later, she talked to the freighter on the satellite phone, but conveniently didn't mention that she had learned there's a mole on the boat. Suspicious.

• THE ADAM AND EVE THEORY: The old skeletons the crew found way back in Season One will turn out to be either Jack and Kate from the future, or Penelope and Desmond. I would prefer the later, actually, because Jack and Kate are a terrible couple. Perhaps when they eventually get back to the island, they arrive WAY in the past.

Anyway, just some guesses. Such a fun show. One question, though... Desmond is Daniel's constant? Didn't Daniel say it had to be someone he really cared about? So... Daniel really cares about Desmond? Not sure about that. Surprise folks, HE... REALLY... CARES... ABOUT.... DESMOND!

(trumpet swell, tinkling sound) LOST logo.

Soon I'll be selling star maps

I'm in LA right now for work. Today is Saturday, though, so it's been mostly a free day. I'm staying right near the ocean, which is nice, and after having spent the last few days cooped in edit houses I thought it might be good for me to go out for a walk on the beach. It's been a while since I've spent any time admiring the vastness of nature that God created, and all that, so I thought now would be a good time.

I had walked about 100 yards, admiring the ocean & enjoying the new Rikki Lee Jones album on my way... when I saw a private party near the beach at a hotel. It was for the IFC Spirit awards, signs told me, and it was very private. I thought, "Wow, there might be someone famous there." Then I checked myself. Here I have the entire ocean by my side, a beautiful strip of beach, and a nice blustery day. To spend it looking for celebs seemed wrong. So I looked back out at the ocean and kept walking.

Well the ocean was nice I guess, but then I turned my head again and I had come upon a tent. A tent housing the actual IFC spirit awards. And limos were pulling up to get people. There were about 30 people gathered around a partition, but it was barely a crowd. Hmm, I thought, well, I'll just take a peek. I walked up next to the partition and was about 30 or 40 feet from the limos.

When Javier Bardiem walked out. Followed by Brad and Angelina. Right near me. Well! I thought. I'll just stay a tad longer. (Here's the lowdown: Brad's hair was cheesy, Angelina's hair was hiding her face, Javier was shorter than I thought and was scarier with a bowl cut.) I was hooked. Instantly a guy from Jiffypop walked by and offered me and everyone else some popcorn. I declined, thinking, that's weird, I'm not actually at the movies. But, as more and more celebs came out I kinda wanted some. I'm sure there's a conspiracy there somewhere.

By about 15 minutes later, I had seen Matt Dillon, Ricki Lake, and Dustin Hoffman. I pulled out my cell phone and tried to take pics but all I got was shots of their cars because for some reason my cell phone camera makes things look farther away than they actually are. I wondered in the back of my mind if God was like, great, thanks for enjoying nature and all. I doubt he's sarcastic like that, but as I turned back towards the hotel it did start to rain.

Unscrew America

Hey everyone, a big website that I've been working on for a while just went live. It's for a nonprofit organization founded by Lesley Chilcott, one of the producers of An Inconvenient Truth. The basic idea is to get people to start switching from incandescent lightbulbs to CFLs and LEDs. But the site is pretty fun.

Visit it here.

Also check out a you tube video for the project here.

Ten Things I would like to happen on LOST.

1. Someone explains where Richard Alpert and the other Others have been since the end of last season.
2. Someone just even throws me the smallest bone and just says, "Wasn't it weird how there was a four toed statue?" C'mon guys, just a reference to the statue. You don't have to tell me where it came from.
3. Danielle Rousseau's flashback, where Montand loses his arm.
4. Ok, A flashback for the statue, where you tell me where it came from. That would be cool.
5. All the survivors get together and have a meeting. Everyone states what weird things they've seen on the island. Then, they all agree: This is a weird island. If you see something strange: TELL EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY.
6. I get an explanation for all those "Quarantine" signs on the hatches. 'Cause right now it seems like the writers dug themselves a hole on that one.
7. Hurley learns more about the numbers and Libby while back in the mental institution.
8. Karl falls off a cliff.
9. A flashback for Cindy Chandler.
10. A flashback for the real Henry Gale.

I also will accept a flashback from the crew of the Black Rock, Kelvin, and Radzinsky, and Patchy. Also Mr. Friendly, now that the post mortem flashback precedent has been set with Naomi.

That is all.

Sleepy Rider

Last night I dreamt I was riding a motorcycle down a hill on a major highway.

Which sounds like it should have a been a very cool, exciting dream; full of adventure and awesomeness. Nope.

Here's how my psyche chose to play it: The motorcycle ran out of gas. And even then, the thought in my head wasn't, "How am I going to get home?" It was, "Oh Man, now I'm going to have to walk alongside my motorcycle, pushing it down the highway and people driving along will think I was afraid to ride it down this hill, so I got off and walked next to it." Hmmm.

Then I dreamt about comic books.

LOST: one more thing...

*MORE SPOILERS*

Um, this morning I went to the excellent Lost site Lostpedia and learned that it wasn't Jacob sitting in the chair in Jacob's cabin when Hurley peaked in, it was Jack's Dad, Christian Shepherd. Um. Wow. See photo. That fits in with my theory, which is that everyone on the island has Dad issues, Rich Dad issues often, and that those Dads are somehow behind this whole island experiment or whatever it is.

More support of that theory will debut on ABC.com on Monday. Abc.com's been hosting these lost Missing Pieces, tiny 2 or 3 minute bits of Lost that take place at different points through the first 3 seasons. There's been some silly fun ones and some more interesting pointed ones. There was one where the others were responding to Walt's specialness while they've got him locked in that mysterious room. Then there was one where Jack meets Ethan for the first time. There was even on that seemed kind of uninformative on the surface: Jack's dad gave him a stopwatch as a wedding gift. I suspect, however, that the watch has some tracking device in it, or something that has to do with keeping track of Jack while he's on the island.

So, all that is to say on Monday the last of the Missing Peices episodes will be revealed, and it's going to be a doozie. See, you can read about them in advance on Lostpedia, because people with Verizon or something can watch them on their cell phones before they debut online. And this one gave me goosebumps AND supports my Jack's Dad theory. Check it out at here, at your own risk. All I will say is that it stars Vincent the dog and it takes place seconds before Jack wakes up from the crash way back in the very first episode... And it's mindblowing.

LOST premeire thoughts

Here are my thoughts during last night's Season 4 opener of LOST:


* SPOILERS HERE *


Open on a pile of fruit, okay, kinda cool but kind of rude to those of us who were hoping you'd open on something AWESOME. But, whatever. A car chase? Really? Oceanic 6? I can't believe it says "Fisher Stevens" in the cast list.

Um, this cannonball scene is terrible. What's happening? I don't like it when they're getting off the island. The island is the coolest thing about the show, go explore the Dark Territory or find that Foot Statue with 4 toes or something! Hmm, Hurley's back in the mental institution. I bet he finds out later that Libby was there once, too. Wait, that Oceanic airlines dude is scary. And awesome. Ok, I like this show again.

Wait, Naomi crawled away? She was alive? Jack is a doctor but he didn't even check her pulse?? He's tried to save every starfish with a cough since the beginning of the show, that doesn't really follow. Ben still rules, though, but he's a little powerless now. Will he remain that way? Are we ever going to learn who the real Henry Gale was?

Naomi's dead again, I can only assume she'll be running a marathon or baking a ham in another scene in about 5 minutes.

Oh crap. Jacob's cabin. Now this show is more than awesome. Jacob's sitting in the chair, I think. AHHH! An eyeball. I think it was John Locke's. Locke sure is not dead.

Wait, now Charlie's alive? At least Hurley's invisible friend isn't back. He was creepy. Oh, Charlie's not alive. Geez.

Now Jack and Hurley are playing horse. Geez, that was a short game. Jack's kind of rude. Wait, now we're supposed to know that it was a bad idea to go with Locke? So the people on the boat are...? This show is really bold in its faith in the audience. I like it.

Still the best show on TV.

The Sheeps

Hey everyone,

I have a new band called The Sheeps. We're playing our first show this Wednesday night at the Carousel Lounge here in Austin. It's in what a friend of mine just called a "stabby" part of town. So it should be fun.

We also just got started recording a demo to use to get other shows. We got six songs down, which is nice. I've posted a few of the rough mixes on our brand new myspace page at here. Keep in mind they're super rough, missing backing vocals, tamborine, etc. But I think we're on the road to something good. Check back in about a week and a half and final mixes will probably be up.

Whoohoo!

The Invention of Hugo Cabret

The Invention of Hugo Cabret is about a boy in Paris named Hugo (of course) who lives in a train station, and how his life gets mysteriously intertwined with a toy store owner and a little girl. Plus, it features a creepy writing automaton, a wind up person who runs like a clock. So you can't beat that. Creepy and cool, with lots of atmosphere, this book is really tightly written and really well done. It's also worth buying because it tells it's story through images, words, and even film images in a really unique way. It's a beautiful book that feels old and new at the same time. Bound in black, with black borders around all the pages, it really just feels great to hold. Read it! For some reason, you'll find it in the young adult section, but it's really a good book for anyone.

A guide to using words that Robin made up.

Bingo Bongo. Used in place of a word you don't feel like saying, mostly to let everyone know you're about to slip into crazy mode. For example: "Oh, It's time to brush my teeth", becomes "Oh, It's time to brush my bingo bongo". Follow with insane laughter.

T-Wubbity. Use this word like you would use the word "Geronimo!". It's perfect for yelling right before you jump on your Dad's kidneys with your hard sole shoes.

Knee-dy. This is the word you yell when you have gone completely insane, and no amount of consoling or reprimanding will get you to settle down and go to sleep. It is best accompanied by entering "ragdoll" mode, all muscles going completely floppy as you flip around the bed, injuring yourself and others.

and, a new addition, as of yesterday... Rocketdog. I'm not entirely sure what this word means, or even if I got the syllables right, but by using context clues I know that this is a phrase you screech at full volume, louder and higher pitched than you have ever yelled before. It is only used when you want to scare off a stuffed animal that you're pretending is a monster. It's apparently also very hilarious, because you always follow it with an uncontrolled burst of laughter.

All a part of God's plan...

The other night Robin got out of the tub in a hyper-excited state and yelled:

"Jesus made me CRAZY!!"

I said, "Don't you mean sugar? Sugar makes you crazy?" (Because that's what we're always telling her when she wants a fifth cookie).

She said, "No, Jesus made me crazy."